where is my spirit???

i want myself back..sum1 who had a spirit to study hard and achieve her dreams to become a successful human resource manager... semester 1, i woke up early in the morning just to do my revision and study...one weeks before test or quiz i had prepare for myself to sit for it maybe i had found my inspiration... semester 2, a bit lost because i had lost my inspiration but i recover back by doing work on group so that sum1 can push me to do tutorial or assignment...n i manage to improve my result... semester 3 even though its only short sem but it quite tension... so i just play around and having fun..and my result is quite bad even though it still 3 pointer but it was not satisfied...
but in this semester 4, no spirit to do assignment, no spirit to go to class , no focus and concentration...why why n why..where is my spirit??? where am i actually??? it just a body of mine is here but my soul is in the middle of nowhere...i dun want to lost focus becoz i'm afraid it will affect my studies then my exam result..but i dunno..i dun have an answer for that..lost in transaction..really..sometimes i have to pretend to everybody that i'm ok..i try to smile, laugh in front of people to show them that i'm ok but only god knows what exactly happen to myself... because i dun find my soul and spirit in myself...