goodbye my fren....

Who would have thought we'd be best friends?
Who would have known on you I could depend?
Who could have saw it would end so fast?
Now our strong bond remains in the past.
You were there for me as long as it worked for you.
I never realized how much I depended on you.
You've gotten lost in someone who is not worth your time.
I guess along the way I forgot you weren't "mine".
Now the person I thought you were has left my sight...
I swear, I tried so hard to keep us strong, I held with all my might.
When I finally got the nerve to tell you how it made me feel,
you tried to keep your heart from seeing it was real.
You let me walk out of your life and you didn't even know.
I think inside you had convinced yourself I'd never go,
Everyone always says guys and girls can’t be just friends anymore.
We always used to laugh it off; I guess in our hearts we thought we were so sure...
Yet here I am, saying goodbye.
I gave it my all, I had to try,
and though I'm still around and you see me every now and again
soon you'll see... you've lost your best friend.
I'm sorry

Sunshine by Kahlen

spirit

i need to find my spirit...
i need to find my soul...
i need to find myself
because i know I've not being myself lately..huhu
i just need a strength to continue my studies..
to survive here
because I know i Can't quit
because i'm not a quitter
who easily give up with her life...

i love my parents
i love myself..
i don't want to hurt them...
oh god, please make me stronger
not to be hurt for small things
not to be shaken
I have to be strong

jaybee to unicell

now i'm back in unicell..10 pm last night arrive from 10 am in jb..huhu.it was a tiring day but not wonderful..huhu my friend and i were not feeling excited but only think about when we can finish our study and be graduated..

huhu seriously i lost my interest to study but i have to keep holding on..not to give up now..huhu 2 years to go...i just need a strength, a new hope, new resolution...

cuzzies...

with my cousin ari


perotku yg semakin membulat


with my cousin hasif hariri chippy yg dh lme x jumpe...dh besar2 budak2 ni


aliya gile yg dh makin mereng bile makan kuih raye banyak2

aunties2 yg dh kepenatan masak memasak

activity this hari rayer...
meet cousins, gossiping and makan, makan n makan..from the first day of hari raye i've build up my calories in my body..huhu..oh gosh xnak ckp byk..pipi pon dh tembam perot pun dh buncit dh...huhuhu
tinggal bpe ari jek before going back to jungle..emm assignment n x study langsung raye ni..aduyaiii

eid mubarak

our family raya picture for this year...


wearing kebaye this year..huhu


raye ni x meriah sangat lahh
but makan tetap meriah...
seperti biase every raye
dh berjaya naikkan berat badan...huhu
terrible owhhh..dh cube tahan nafsu makan pon
tetap tergode ngn kuih raye, kek n juadah2 yg lain...
really have to diet after this..puase 6 the best method i think...huhu

waiting forward for my mom laksa johor..huhu nyum2 make sure to have it before i'm going back ...

takbir bergema di malam raya

For things i did wrong,
for words might hurt,
for jokes u can't take,
for advice u can accept
& for attitudes u can't compromise ...
1001 apologies from the deepest of my heart...

hari raya cookies

finally, i had pass to bake some cookies for this hari raya...thanx to my aunties and my cousins who teach me to make some cornflakes cookies and chocolate chip for this hari raya..hahahha n i'm so glad that my dad like it..yeah because i learn to make some cookies for this hari raye is because of his request...
two days before i'm going back home to jb...my cousin n i went to Sogo, Jalan TAR, and MID VALLEY to do some last min shopping...so i had bought some orange tshirt heheh actually that particular brand for teenagers below 17years old..heheh 3 scarf, one for my mom, brooch, and the most wanted things that i've dream to buy is crocs sneakers for this hari raya..huhu



n now busy to clean up my room, hanging up the curtains , mop and so on..tomorrow will be busy to anyam ketupat..hehe actually x pandai pon anyam just tolong sambung ape yg my m0m dh wat...huhu

why??

i met him again... 4 ari berturut2 aku selalu ternampak die....kenape??? kenape bile kite nak lupekan seseorang die lah yg selalu muncul dalam hidup kite... kalo lah aku bley padamkan segalenye dalam hati ni dengan senang kan bagus... bile kite sayang seseorang n nak jumpe die..susah sangat nk terserempak , tapi bile xnak jumpe tiap2 hari ternampak..kuar2 jek nampak... n i think i'm strong...maybe becoz of my ego yg sangat tebal lah yang nampak aku kuat di mata orang...tapi hakikatnye hanya tuhan jek tau perasaan ni...aku rase nak menangis, tapi air mata xde...tapi aku tau aku sebenarnye menangis dalam hati...hati aku dh mati..empty dh....mungkin ni balasan tuhan kepadaku sebab menolak cinta orang..aku dh menolak cinta 3 laki dlm hidup aku... aku cuba untuk syg die, walaupun die x penah putus ase untuk dtg dlm hidup aku..cuba untuk menagih cinte tapi aku x bley tipu diri aku sendiri...aku masih mengejar or menanti cinta yang xpenah aku luahkan n die pun mungkin x penah terpk yang aku ske kat die... jumpe pon susah...tetapi hakikatnye die dh pon berpunye... mungkin silap aku juga sbb teranggap die lebih dr seorang kawan...n xpenah bgtau die tentang perasaan aku..
aku xnak ulangi kesilapan lame,, sbb trase sakit sangat bile hati kite dilukai jadi baik lah kite hanya memendam rase,,,dan cinta dalam diam
so specially dedicated to him.... semoga die bahagie ngan perempuan yang die cintai

Ungkapan kata selindung hasrat nan di hati
Andainya ditafsir terserlah makna yang tersembunyi
Renungan mata bukan pandangan biasa

Bertahun andai terjalin hingga waktu ini
Gurauan mesra menghiasi masa kita bersama
Semakin berputik perasaan ini

Kini baru ku sedari
Selama ini kau ku sayangi
Andai bukan itu hakikatnya
Mengapa rindu yang ku rasa

Mungkin tiada ku fahami
Tidak dapat ku nafikan lagi
Beban rahsia kian membakar diri

Kalimah cinta selongkar renungan dicipta
Mungkinkah dibiar terdampar
Kasih tak kesampaian
Naluri bisik bukannya dambaan cinta

Kini baru ku sedari
Selama ini kau ku sayangi
Andai bukan itu hakikatnya
Mengapa rindu yang ku rasa

Mungkin tiada ku fahami
Tidak dapat ku nafikan lagi
Beban rahsia kian membakar diri

Ikhlas ku nyatakan
Kau yang ku sayangi
Kau yang ku cintai
Walau tak mampu ku miliki

Ingin ku luahkan
Mungkin satu hari
Kan terbuka pintu hati
Dapat juga kau terima
Diriku akhirnya

cookies

I dreamt about him again…huhu ya allah, kenapalah bile kte nak lupekan die…makin lah kite teringat kat die…aduyaiiiii

Yeyeh finally I can decide when I wanna going back home to jb…this Tuesday I‘ll go to my cousin’s house in sepang to make some cookies for my abah.. I wonder why suddenly abah craving for cornflakes.. I’ve been alive for 20 years of my life and it was first time abah request to me to make cornflakes cookies for him. So this Tuesday my cousin n me will make a cookies for this becoming hari raya..

N we also plan to make our last min shopping at kl… I need to buy some scarf and brooch… I do plan to buy a scarf for my mom… if I get my loan before this hari raya bley lah do another last min shopping at jb…huhu but unfortunately I had called pt just now and they had told me that I can get my loan for another 14 days working days so it means after this hari raya….huhu

I really excited and counting forward to go back home…I want to learn to make some cookies so I can practice it at home…hehehhe so I can teach my mom to make some cookies for the next hari raya… n now we are in 22nd day of puase..Huhu n this Thursday I will going back home to jb with my bro, so I’ll get a chance to have air khatira for buke puasa..yippie..finally after spending two weeks here really make me sick of thinking of what to have for breaking fast n now I’m back to celebrate hari raya with my family…

Evn though I dun hav any kampong because I can’t consider going back to Singapore as my kampong…but I do excited to meet my all my relatives there… hari raya is the day where all my aunties, uncles and cousins are gathering up to celebrate…n to collecting duit raya…tue2 pon dpt agi k…hehehehhe so will updating soon for preparation for hari raya…

where is my spirit???

i want myself back..sum1 who had a spirit to study hard and achieve her dreams to become a successful human resource manager... semester 1, i woke up early in the morning just to do my revision and study...one weeks before test or quiz i had prepare for myself to sit for it maybe i had found my inspiration... semester 2, a bit lost because i had lost my inspiration but i recover back by doing work on group so that sum1 can push me to do tutorial or assignment...n i manage to improve my result... semester 3 even though its only short sem but it quite tension... so i just play around and having fun..and my result is quite bad even though it still 3 pointer but it was not satisfied...
but in this semester 4, no spirit to do assignment, no spirit to go to class , no focus and concentration...why why n why..where is my spirit??? where am i actually??? it just a body of mine is here but my soul is in the middle of nowhere...i dun want to lost focus becoz i'm afraid it will affect my studies then my exam result..but i dunno..i dun have an answer for that..lost in transaction..really..sometimes i have to pretend to everybody that i'm ok..i try to smile, laugh in front of people to show them that i'm ok but only god knows what exactly happen to myself... because i dun find my soul and spirit in myself...

09.09.09

nice day, nice date n nice month...huhu i know it just a no but tah lah dah jadi habit dr high skool dulu to wait for this special date to do sumthing special to remember of...huhu


but it seems that i dun find that lucky things today..so i'm not lucky enough k...huhu
actually i dun know why lately its really hard for me to stay focus and concentrate in everything i do..especially during lecture hour..huhu maybe i'm homesick.. two weeks jek kat cni dh drive me crazy...huhu i'm not pampering myself tp seriously i really miss my family...my abah, my mak, my kitten n everything at home...
every time pk what my mom do at home, what my kitten do..huhu i really miss that..everyday i counting days and write at my kuku malu white board to remind me how many days i'm going back home to jb..naseb baik this ramadhan tak rase sangat..sekejap jek dah 19 days kite puase..huhu another 11 days n only 2 days jek nanti dapat berbuke kat umah..


this sem sme lecture sme x nak kompromi bagi cuti awal for hari raya..so we have to wait until friday 17 sept to go back home...sedih jek kan...huhu tgk ah cuti extra ah lepas raye...huhu
another bape ari jek nak blek..n i'm counting patiently..huu

waiting

another one more week left for me to spend my days here in unisel before i'm going back to jb for hari raya...actually i dun know what exactly a date for me to go back home...can u imagine my lecturer still want to make a class on friday evening 17.9... its crazy man bile orang nak blek mcm tu..xkan petang raye kot...huhu dunno lah die sem it seems like hr student be da luckiest coz having an old timer lecturer with their old way to teach student....


its not so bad my days here in unisel..and last monday was the first time for me to go bersahur at cafe and it was fun..ramai orang macam berbuke puase..n i was surprised with guys especially bersahur makan mcm orang berbuke..mak ai banyak gile...huuhu



besides staying at home watching movies, open table, n masak2 we then going for a walk after berbuke so we berjalan2 ke pp menghirup udara segar n menikmati segelas air bandung..wahhhh seronok...bile lagi kan nak wat keje gile mcm tu..hahhaha

n now i really waiting patiently with my pt..bile nak masuk ni, i really need some money to pay my debt with abah n to buy books...huhu tension tension.....

finally

finally in this stressful semester 4 i found sumthing that might be interesting and can be my inspiration to study .... what is that?? for the first time i love the way this lecturer taught us for the subject business communication 3....i love this subject very much because it was actually one of my dream to further my study in mass communication course but I suddenly change to hr when i apply for in unisel...

talking about this subject for this semester finally i found the lecturer who makes this subject becomes more interesting and fun in class.. n she never fail to make me bored in class..seriously thumbs up for her for makes my friday worth it... enough for that

talking about my group assignment for subject industrial relation i have to find a company who has a trade union... n unfortunately i can rely on my abah because his company doesnt have a trade union..so I've thinking of my aunty who works in Malaysia airlines as one of the manager at hr department..so maybe i can seek for her help..huhu but it seems that I'm da only one who really 'excited" about that compares to my other two group membe yg wat dek jek....huh dunno what to say i just feel that i should complete all the task earlier because i know its not the easy task..we have to interview the hr manager and the union manager for that particular company.. n its not easy to set an appointment to meet them personally for an interview..n plus we have four assignment..two assignment individual and two group assignment..huhu n now i really needs my parents supports as a senior of hr manager to guide me in order for me to be a hr manager in the making...

and i really hope i can cope with all this and score for this semester because it seems that i found it as the stressful semester i ever had so far..maybe because i am already in year 2 so a lot of things that i"ve to learn for the future..i just hope everything will be fine.. ya allah, i really need a strength and patient to stay calm and settle all this matter smoothly and successfully

i just pretend

i know i just pretend to everybody that I am okay, I a m happy like nothings happened but I know i just lying to myself....

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

“When one's own problems are unsolvable and all best efforts frustrated, it is lifesaving to listen to other people's problems.”



dun worry be happy.. I'll be okay

freak out

i should say wow for the subject in this sem..huhu yesterday i just realised that i never search for the journal for my both subject Industrial relations and hr staffing n planning... learning this subject with miss erni really makes me feel tense and freak out..why i say it so..because we have two assignment,, for each subject..one literature review which is individual doing for an article, make a summary and present..huhu then we have another assignmnet which is by group...oh my gosh..hehehe tension siottt...
but i have to do it no matter what so just do it man.... n one more thing,, yesterday rajen gile gi library searching for the journal because first time show her my article kene reject.. so for the first time in my life gi library at night just to search for that particular article..then after penat merapu cari journal..one of my friend ajak gi jalan2 sbb dh lme x pusing unisel katenye..but one of my fren suggest to go karoeke near her house..but then suddenly change to karok at one of the shop at bb..and the karoeke shop was terrible man..hahha sadis sungguh...but diam x diam 4 lagu jugak aku lyan..hahahha nampaknye penyakit karoeke telah menjangkit ke badanku..huhuhu ni semue angkara bro n kak ros..huhu

see, trok kan keadaan kedai karoeke tu...

and tomorrow will be the day yang ade class for two favourite subject..hehhehe ir and staffing..huhu i think my hair will be smakin kembang ari ke ari kalo tiap2 ari mcm ni..huhuhuhu so dib be prepared babe...be strong bfore u freak out...xpenah rase mals nak gi kelas mcm ni but i feel it man in this semester

hate liar

i hate liar..i dun know why some people love to lie to us instead of just being honest to themselves...why i say it so..bcause i hate guys who self centered and only care about his feelings...but its ok its all right i accept it..dh biase pon...xpe ah redha maybe dh naseb badan slalu xkan penah rase bhagia when we talk about love..huhu emosional lak..dah dah cut the crap


emm now i'm back in unisel..emm so exhausted today...8am in the morning 1pm bru sampai pudu raya...jammed trok kat seremban because of an accident..so waiting for the next bus around 140 pm bru ade..huhu so around 3.50 pm bru lah smp unisel tercinta...


n guess what today x lah feel tension sngt pk ape nak makan untuk berbuke..because terpk nak masak sendri ari ni..huhu macarony goreng ...so after bahan2 dh diciap kan mule lah bermasak kol 7pm.huhuhu tung tang 715pm sme nye dh ciap n waiting for azan untuk berbuke...huhu n rezeki ari ni dapat rendang tok from my fren..huhu thanx dude..sdap sgt..makin selera ah buke ari ni..huhu

skrg musim ujan jek so puase this time xde ah rase penat sgt sbb sejuk jek...huhu
skrg bermule lah episod dib di kelas...huhu kene start rajen blaja ni.... n waiting for pt .. bile lah nak masuk ni?? org nak duit untuk beli buku..huhu dh pokai ni..kang kene makan mee maggy jek jawabnye..huhu