s.t.u.c.k

I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string
Why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you [last time x2]
It's true
I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool

silent tears

if u what u want is to see me cry, hurt, down and heart broken..
congratulation, you have been successfully broken my heart, makes my life miserable, and hurt...

no calls, no texts, nothing ... but i'm still here thinking about you and waiting like mad, Checking my phone every single minutes, even though I know you haven't texted.
Just because I don't talk to you, doesn't mean I don't search for you.but what else can i do.u seems to be happy with your life right now... and i still pretending to everybody that i'm cool and okay with it but instead i cry inside my heart... and i wished i will erased every single memories but it keeps playing in my mind and i cant get rid of it...but i try because you will never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have...insyaallah

f.e.e.l

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart

c.o.b.a.a.n

xde ape yg dpt mengembalikan kenangan yg dulu..biarlah sme tu hny jadi memori dlm hidup aku..aku yg pilih jalan tu..susah mcm ne pon aku harus hadapi..walau sakit yg aku rase x dpt digambarkan dengan kata-kata..mungkin luarannya..aku mcm insan biasa yg lain, yg bergelak tawa, ceria seperti xde pe yg blaku..tp dalam hati ni..hancur lulur...sakitnye hanya tuhan yg tahu..
mcm2 dalam otak aku skrg, bgun pgi jek aku terbayang muke mak..mcm ne keadaan die skrg..aku plak xdpt nk blek jage mak sbb byk sgt kerja yg perlu diselesaikan kat cni..mungkin dh 3 mgu aku ngn mak jge makan pakai die..jd bile skrg aku trase plak..kdg2 aku nk lari di sini..sbb xde pe yg bahagiakan aku kt cni..tp ape yg aku ley wat..slain berdoa pada allah agar bg aku kesabaran dan ketabahan untuk aku lalui semua ni..
terlalu berat dugaan yg aku terima sekrang ini tp aku redha dgan ketentuan ilahi...die bukan lagi untuk aku... die pon dh mulekan hidup baru..aku jek yg masih disini...tp hidup mesti diteruskan..walaupon pahit ke , sakit ke hidup mesti berani terima kenyataan...aku pon dh byk dh wat silap selama ni..mungkin inilah balasan untuk aku...aku dh x nak toleh blakang lagi..tp tu lah kdg2 aku rse diri aku ni kuat , tp kdg2 bile sendiri mulelah aku tangisi nasib diriku ni..ape yg mampu aku wat, bende dh jd..xde pe yg perlu disesali...mungkin de hikmah di sebalik sme ni..xpelah bukan selalunye hidup kite akan ade di atas n bukan slalu kite ni hepy jek..lumrah hidup..kdg2 ske kdg2 duke..cume mungkin skrg aku kene usaha lebih cket...study untuk final exam..settlekan assignment sme..blek jager mak..jgn pk dh bende yg dh lepas..mase dpn msih panjang lagi..that not the end of the world..masih byk lagi tanggungjwb aku yg harus aku wat..aku jus harapkan aku dh wat keputusan yg terbaik untuk diriku...
and tiada siapa lagi yg aku harapkan melainkan tuhan agar memberi aku ketenangan, kesabaran dan ketabahan untuk aku lalui sme ni..insyallah

the end

padamkan cerita cinta


Kini kurasa semua
Ketenangan yang hadir dij iwa
Dapatku rasa segala
Bila akhirnya episod cinta

Sedih yang berpanjangan
Kini tiada lagi
Awan hitam berlalu
Hadir sinaran
Kita lupakan cinta lalu

Jangan kau rasa aku tak mampu
Lakukan semua kerana kau
Selalu berfikir aku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa mu kita padamkan
Memori lalu aku akhirkan cerita cintaku

Kini ku jalani hidup sendirian tanpa kau disisi
Tak perlu kau risaukan
Tak perlu ditangisi
Tak perlu difikirkan cerita cinta
Kita lupakan cerita itu

Jangan kau rasa aku tak mampu
Lakukan semua kerana kau
Selalu berfikir aku tak mampu
Hidup tanpa mu
Kita padamkan memori lalu

Tak mugkin kita akan bersama lagi kekasih
Kerna diri ini tak mampu haruni cinta mu
Cinta mu kita lupakan cerita itu

o.b.s.t.a.c.l.e.s

so many things happen to me recently and the obstacles i should been through its quite tough for me but alhamdulillah it really makes me learn to be more patient and be strong to cope with all these..i've been through a lot of obstacles this semester ... really from a matter of relationship, friendship and family matters..
its begin from the break up of relationship..all this while i've been thinking that we just break off from my relationship to give a break for two of us, to start all over again... and i never think to break up just like that..even though so many things happen to us, i try so hard to save our relationship...but it does'nt work..our break off relationship is getting dull and boring..i know, no matter how hard i try,if love is not there i cant force u to love me like before... i admit , i'm the one who did a mistakes and always be the one who always be the burden of u..i dun know how to make u happy or for u to feel love like any other gurl and thats why i'm the gurl who always make u feel bored and rimas like u always said to me.. enuff for that i dun want to talk more coz i have made up my mind to just letting u go..i know its no point for me to keep hoping for our relationship because i accept your reason that u dont love me anymore..i accept it.. if god only give me six month to be in relationship, to feel love, care and so on like i asks before..god has fulfill my dream to be in love even for only six month..and i believe in destiny... maybe we are not meant together..but i just want u to know that i never regret to be with u,u r my first guy who had a key to my heart..the one who i love and care most becuase u such a kind person who always there for me and the person who i always rely on..but i know i can't rely on u anymore..i have to find my own strentgh to be independent...thanx for everything and sorry for every single things that i've done to you... sorry, if our friendship will not like before... becuase i have to find my own space for myself to cope with all these...

early morning around 2.30 am at 29th of august, i received a called from my elder brother said that my mom was in icu..a day before i know that my mom is not feeling well but i never expected into that condition..at first i cant go back because i have four test in a week and other things to do but after i heard that news i just packed my stuff and take a bus to go back to jb..thanks to kak ros and kieryn who sent me to ktm sg bloh...i dun know how to describe my feelings at that time...it was second time for my mom admitted to the hospital..i'm the only daughter in my family so my dad and my bro depends on me to take care of my mom...
when i arrived in the icu, my mom was sleeping and doc said she had to do a dialysis. her condition was a bit serious compared to before...my dad n my bro was burnt into tears, me at frist who stay calm then burnt into tears when my cousin , uncle and aunty arrived to give us a support..only allah knows how my feelings like at that time...
but as time was passing after my mom had to been through 3 times dialysis, scanning and medication she is getting better but have to stay in icu around 8 days..and now she was transfer to normal ward...i just hope everything will be fine..pity to my mom who asks me everyday when she can go back home...pray that my mom will get well soon and back to normal life...

all this while, alhamdulillah i've become a stronger person and more patient.. alot of things that happen to me at one time but so far i manage to handle it..i believe in god because only allah know everything and i can rely on..thanx to my family and friend who text me and call me everyday to ask about my mom and give me a support... really appreciate it..to my relatives who bring us food for buka puasa and sahur all along the journey thank u so much..

along the weeks in hospital doesnt realise that hari raya is coming over..this year, no preparation of ketupat, kuih rya and so on...we are having our hari raya in the hospital..hehe dun mind about that..experience and obstacles...as long as my mom is getting better we dont mind to celebrate it in hospital...hehehhe
for all family members and friends wishing all of u Selamat hari raya aidilfitri maaf zahir dan batin...