t.e.a.r.s

Have you ever had one of those days that you just felt like crying, everything seems to get to you for no reason. Today must be my day I woke up feeling fine but out of no where I just felt like breaking down crying, I feel sad today. The clouds have been hanging around for almost a week now, every once in while the sun will try to shine through but it never seem to stay long. I think maybe my mind is trying to tell me something, that maybe I just need a good cleansing of the soul, let me cry for all the reasons that I cant explain,
I hate myself for being too weak and can’t stop crying for the same matters for the rest of my life. I dun know why I’ve been too sensitive today…just becoz one person who said to me that I’m such a boring person, “ x pandai mengayat , X lemah lembut and x manje sbb tu owang xnak”.. is that a criteria yang laki nak..sory ah I’m just being myself k..i’m not that kind of gurl yg hidung x mancung pipi tersorong2 or tergedik2 nampak jantan mcam kera kene belacan… n ia lebih menyakitkan ati bile orang yang ckp tu owang yg rapat ngn kite.. tah lah kan mulot orang kite x bley nak tutop… I just want to forget it..aduyaii nape lah bende ni x penah settle..i just want to get rid of the stupid feelings…I keep talking to myself that I am a strong person and I’m happy with my life but sometime I have to admit I just be lying to myself… n tonight i was drown into tears n I can’t stop it..huhu I dun know why I’ve been too weak …ayoyoyoyo

done...

Huhu..one job is done…huhu our car wash event was successfully done..huhu even though it was quite tiring but it was fun…we can know who can done a job, who just sit and talk, who just sit and pointed or instruct other people to do her work,,.. Thank u for all bhrm students who give us support and cooperate with each other to wash car and motorcycles....and also for our lecturer tuan haji for his sponsor and support… to all customer who sent their motor cycles and cars.. thank u so much…really appreciate it..

now busy with test this saturday, and faculty dinner on 4th nov...hhuhu
dun know what to wear lah..theme urban batik but i'm thinking to wearing dress lah..huhu

destiny

I almost happy nowadays…I mean I am happy with my life right now..Even though I’m quite busy with tons of assignments, test and so on but at least I dun have time to feel lonely or miserable or something like that… yeah I know n I realise most of my friends or people around me always ask me about the same question “dib, dah ade bf lom?? “ xkan xde kot dh besar ko skrg” yeah I know maybe some of the people thought me that maybe I am abnormal because in da age of 20 I still dun find any special sum1 in my life…
Actually I am sick to think bout it.. why I say it so..Because I have try and error so many times until I fed up n thinking of just letting go.. I know sum times I think that should I anti guys or sumthing but I know I can’t judge all guys like that so I just let it be..n leave it to ALLAH S.w.t.. because I believe in destiny.. jodoh pertemuan kat tangan tuhan…
Sometimes, I can’t deny the feelings when I sat all alone n thinking when is everything gonna to change but I dun get an answer so I dun want to waste my time to think bout it so I just let it go..n now I know the way to make me feel better I just think positive n I never regret with my destiny.. being alone is better than to be hurt… because I still have my supportive abah n mak, abang2 , kazen yang always take care of me n friends yang always make my life feel complete..so I dun have to having sum1 right now..biarkan jek lah die berlalu..yang penting I have to work hard to achieve my dreams… make my family proud of me n berbakti to my dad n my mom before to think for sumthing that not worth it ..huhu

memories

If ur fren can leave u w/o giving any reason,
don't ever think of begging 4 mercy
If ur fren d0esn't appreciate u as much as urs,
just let da hell out from ur frend list
If ur fren can throw u & da memories away as simple as dat,
dun waste ur tears 2 recall th0se shit
If ur fren can pretend n0t 2 kn0w u of sudden,
dun be stupid calling da name out loud
If th0se stuff make u remember back ur pains,kill it with laugh that u deserve 2 feel
It's really n0t w0rth at all 4 mourning da fake friendship
If friendship hurts,then friend shift.

extend

i have to extend my holiday to Tuesday..huhu my dad is still stranded in budget terminal Jakarta airport...there was an accident so they do not allowed any flight to fly off...huhu n i still have to wait for my dad ...i dun know whether i have time to go for medical check up tonight..huhu

car washhh

wahh dh lme x update blog..I've been busy lately with my assignment, classes and my next event ..huhu our group event for subject sociology of work is to organize car wash for fun that will be held on 27 october 2009 at parking lot fsp..so to all unisellian yang ade kereta and motor..sile lah anta cuci di sane...only rm3 for motorcycle and rm5 for car..hehehehhe...promote2..hehhehe




emm i'm home..but my abah was not at home so i just stay with my bro n mom..huhu emm abah mintak balek ari isnin but i ahve class on that day so i'm in dilemma to going back on sunday or monday..huhu but i think i have to do some medical check up...i was in flu almost a week...n some time it was hard to breathing..i am really afraid if i had an asthma or something related to breathing problem...i just hope everything will be fine..huhu

emmm it just almost one more month to final exam but it seems that i dun prepare any yet and a ton of assignments that i never touch..huhu ayoyo so now it seems that too many works too little time..huhu so dib be prepared..huhu

back again

yess i'm going back again to jb this weekend..but my abah is going to jakarta this weekend....huhu i miss u abah ..die nk gi outstation lak...hhuhu but its ok lah if its for ur our good...
emm talking bout this week..i'm not feeling well...flu, migrain and stomach ache..n now it seems like i can't let my stomach empty..huhu its really pain man i dun want to be gastric..huhu ok lah now busy with my assignment..from day to day i dun get enough sleep and enough rest just to finish up my assignments..huhu

just hope everything will be fine as usual...and it will move smoothly ...

focus+work harder

a tons of assignment to do...and i still have to smile on it

one individual and one group assignment for industrial relations subject...
one individual and group assignment for hr staffing and planning
one group activities for sociology of work
one group assignment for business computing to create database.
and maybe another group assignment for business communication 3

its about one month and the half for final examination and the end of semester 4... but tons of assignment and interview that we never either plan about what to do..ayo yo

i really have to stay focus and work harder for it before my parents have to sent me to tanjung rambutan or tampoi... i really hope all the group member will give a fully contribution about this...

kembali pulang

After bout three years missing in action he suddenly came back to my life… To seek for apologies and recall back what had happened at the past… why must he come back now??? Just for hurting me for another one more time or he just want to say sorry because he felt guilty of what he had done to me …

I had forget everything … two years was enough for me to make me turn over new leaf and forget everything maybe he had his own reason why he did that...but after we talked about it, it seems like he was looking down on me and thought like I still got crush on him and still love him and still waiting for him. Please man I have my pride k... N I’m not a type of person who u can easily hurt…I never let any guys to break my heart… I know it sounds horrible … because of one guy, I don’t put any trust to guys even though sum times he was sincere to me… but for me no men no cry k… I’ve been alone for 20 years so it was fine for me … I just want to focus with my studies right now because I believe in GOD... He has created a path for everyone we just have to believe in our destiny…

So for him, if u just came back to my life just want to make fun of me n be proud because u think that I was still waiting for u…huhu I think u’ve wrong I’m not that kind of idiot gurl anymore.. n for ur info I had erased all the memories long time ago.. so dun be “ perasan handsome” okay…I return ur call, n reply of your message just for the sake of friend n not more than that… so please dun make me feel annoying and irritated…

I’m going back home tomorrow..yeah I know it just about a week I’m here but this time I think I should have some rest to get maintenance for my screw loose in my brain…huhu it’s the better way before I’m freak out and people had to sent me to tampoi or tanjung rambutan…hahahha hope all the tense were recover when I get back here in unisel…