confessions..

i don't know why i always feel inferior to myself whenever i think about love... I'm afraid to fall in love and be in love because i know i never get what i want when we talk about love.. I'm getting 20 next Wednesday but for about 20 years of my lives i never feel what is love about.. i mean love among guys and girls.. because every time i like or love someone, we were always not meant to be together... but i accept it because i believe everything happen for the reason and plus maybe i have to go through a lot of the wrong ones to get to right one. but sometimes i can't deny that i feel jealous when i look to my friends or other couple2 out there when they are crazy in love, spend time together or at least they have someone to share their feelings and to be care bout..but for me i only have my cousin aliah to share my feelings, problems and secrets...huhuhu

i always think, am i not good enough to deserve someone in my life???or maybe its not a right time for me to fall in love or be in love..i dont know..until now i still don't get the answer...maybe I'm too egoistic towards a guy or maybe I'm always hide my feelings and try to avoid the love becoz I'm afraid to be hurt...

my first love experience had make me frightened to accept love from any guy because i hate guys who give us a hope,love and care but whenever we admit that we love them he left us and said they do all sucks thing only for fun...it was really hurt and its really affect my daily life n until now i become trauma to fall in love because i thought guy only wants to make fun of gurls.. but i know i cant judge all guys like that... but from that moment i promise to myself that i will never let any guys to make fun of me and that's why i become extra careful to find love...but i believe love will come naturally and we cant force it..don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall.